When you are a bully you don’t stop being one when you grow up.
We learned that when our nice neighbors the Siegles who lived next
door sold their home to a family called the Jewells. Bobby liked to
dress in front of his uncovered lighted up bedroom naked. His
parent’s thought it was cute. We were repulsed,the father had been in the Navy for 15 years and we were then faced with a whole family
of them. They let that kid terrorize us all. They would laugh as
they threw snowballs at our legs
I saw in that year my father’s favorite brother
die from stomach cancer. He used some connections and had gotten
my dad a union job with the railroad and he was also a barber(not
a very good one though). He smoked cigarettes he had a special
talent he would inhale the smoke and then it would come out of his
ears,cool. It was to be what I think of too many losses and pain
I now understand the Yeats poem that I loved to read to my grieving mother she was too young to have wrinkles they were the lines of sorrow on her ever changing face. That year was the only time I saw my father cry, he was not just losing his brother but
his mother too. We could not get a reprieve at our once quiet home
the parents next door were oblivious and seemed to relish our pain. This was a very cliquey town but that year was one where
we could not get away from being noticed as the weirdos on our street. I was warned by my grandfather and never told them how my sweet sister was being treated in this new school where teachers were as much of the problem than a solution. We did not
feel comforted by the community and our relatives joined in as well. I understand in the animal world they let go and leave the weak to fend for themselves. My sister survived but I was
told by a nun who was teaching us in St.Mary’s that my sister
would do better in public school where they had special education teachers. In a small amount of time I watched the
despair in my family and could foresee it in my future.
People who I had lived by and others that we all played with
treated us like we had the plague and we cut our ties with the
church that had forsaken us. We never went to church again
my mom asked my brother and me if we wanted to still go to
St. Mary’s and we both answered with a resounding NO! That was
also the year we were supposed to be confirmed, one of my friends told me that she was told to ask me if I still wanted to
I mumbled no thanks!
Bullies were popping up all over the place and since I had a new
perception I turned rebellious. After one one awful day I made
my mother cry because I felt like no one liked us because of our
difference. I can never justify why I was turning into someone
every one that had cared for us now saw us in a new light and
there parents all went along for the ride. Teachers seemed like
kids that did not have to face reality and liked being palsy
with the sport minded children they seemed to easily blend in
with. When Bobby rang our door to tell my mom he saw me smoking
she looked at the little hellion and said she already knew. my
mom did not like tattle tails like him, his mother the typical
navy wife who lived like the stepford wives always looking for
the cool kids for her favorite son. She treated the older boy
like the red headed stepchild because he did not enjoy torturing us as much as the rest. Of course they all wanted to
become teachers special ed ones of course they new they would not really have to do anything. What goals to have!
When Marsha turned sixteen and was asked by my mom if she wanted to still go there she said no but what am I going to do mom? If we did not have our treasured books to read it would have been unbearable. I always seemed to attract somebody but
my future was all planned out for me and I learned something
from my first boyfriend (only 2 weeks). He said Nancy your as
pretty as the other girls you could be popular too! You can
imagine my look of surprise! I said what do I have to do Tom he
shuffled his feet and said don’t you see what Laurie and Gary
are doing. Since people did not interest me much I must have missed something I did not know what he was talking about!
Honestly I was in the middle of one of my favorite books Bury My
Heart at Wounded Knee. I still wanted to now what I would have
to do. We did learn certain things from a rather strange class
called sex education one boy in the class would always like to
make the teacher uncomfortable by his very intense knowledge
of the subject and left me just bewildered.Someone would have to have a gun to my head if what Kevin said he and his many girlfriends liked to do. I can still remember how I pestered Tom to tell me what he was talking about. I never will forget how embarrassed he looked. He would not tell no matter how much I begged him to. I’m very glad I did not have access to porn like the other kids and I know I would have not done that even to Bjorn Borg ( I wonder what he’s up to now). I don’t think he plays tennis anymore. I just was not interested I had to think of ways to make my family get through this tragic time. I tell my partner Dave who is from Texas and has been to even more strange places than me. My father had 6 weeks of vacation time and that is what held us together. We would go any where if we all agreed. I said I wanted to go to an Indian Reservation because of the wounded knee book. I might meet Georgia O’Keeffe. My father did not know about the interest I was developing towards our treatment of the American Indians. My brother and I always would pick out what we called the vacation hats he had the perfect one it was made out of straw and had little straw figures of cowboys and Indians. It was the perfect hat. All I thought to wear was some cowboy hat I made my mother get for me. Dave does have a collection of them and when he worries about how I am getting through this truly unfair and cruel time. I tell him It would not be my life if I was not fighting for something. Women’s right’s and my deep belief that Andrew Carnegie was right it is a sin to die rich and we are both green people. He reminds me so much about my mom who was composting when people had never even heard of it. I tell him every day that I would not be able to live without him and when Marsha came here to stay. I asked him why I was feeling something different he took my hand and said your happy now my gal.I cried because he was right and I had my sister back. Not the one I had not seen back in P.J. but the same one who would always be my best friend. I am doing this so this does not happen again those two men are guilty. Because I would have to file in N.Y.I did not think I would do it. When they arrested other people who could not even compare to the uncalled for way the justice system is treating like criminals. Two men are walking around with there heads up high and are not even being charged when they removed my tombstone and sandblasted it they knew their buddies would not do anything to them. Read the paper other people are being charged with felonies. These two men are having a dinner party. They are laughing at the way I was treated and they are laughing at the average men who did something out of desperation! My job is not over I am standing up for justice for all.
Embalming fluid should be outlawed. It pollutes the earth and water. I think if I had my grandmother exhumed,her finger
would be there.
The ring would be gone. What a racket!
My next blog is what I am going to do in this state of Florida. Hold on to your hats!
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